Many blogging moms take to the Internet to voice their opinions on what it means to be a working mom or a stay-at-home mom. They often seem to be at war over which profession is harder or which type of mom is better.
Years ago, we posted an interesting Huffington Post article on our social media. It was written from the perspective of a stay-at-home mom voicing her frustration of how raising your children full-time is not considered a real job. As soon as I read it, I knew my phone would ring. Within an hour of the post, my twin sister, Alison called me very upset, and understandably so.
How could this woman insinuate that career moms surf the net and take 2-hour lunch breaks?
Although I agree the article had a hostile tone, I gently suggested that she probably wasn’t trying to discredit career moms, but rather validate the job of a stay-at-home mom. But it did bring up an interesting question of who works harder – stay-at-home moms or working moms?
The Stay-at-Home Working Moms
I would say that to most people I would be considered a career mom! I spent a large portion of my life educating myself and training to become a doctor. But if you ask me, I am absolutely a stay-at-home mom who has an occasional love affair with medicine.
Being an ER Physician, my schedule is never consistent. On average, I work eight-to-ten 12-hour shifts per month. Because of my work schedule, there are times I spend weeks at home with my children. But then there are times I spend the majority of the week at the hospital. This schedule has allowed me the unique opportunity of seeing life from both sides of the battle field.
I am a stay-at-home career mom!
So which one is harder?
It depends on when you ask me!
There are weeks when I am knee high in dirty diapers, class mom responsibilities, and grocery store lists. I dream of being back in the ER, dealing with other people’s children but also secretly enjoying that it isn’t my child throwing a temper tantrum in the ER.
Then, of course, there are times when I have 20 patients waiting, while I eat patients’ saltine crackers to tide me over until I can take a lunch break that never comes. I wish I was home in my pajamas playing Paw Patrol with my children.
There is no right answer.
No matter what type of parent you are, you are going to have great days and very challenging days.
Sometimes stay-at-home moms think working moms obsess over their careers and that their priority isn’t their children. And then, of course, there are career moms who view stay-at-home moms as women who sit home, watching TV all day long.
Two ideas which couldn’t be further from the truth.
I am surrounded by amazing women. Some have built impressive careers and are completely obsessed with their children, spending “lunch breaks” coordinating the perfect play dates and taking on school projects they certainly don’t have time to do. And stay-at-home moms who haven’t spent more than 30 minutes alone to themselves since their child was born and don’t remember the last time they put on makeup or bought something for themselves.
Whether you are a stay-at-home mom or have a career outside of the home, the minute you decide to become a parent, you sign up for a full-time career, including overtime without pay, short or no lunch breaks, and limited bathroom breaks.
But I challenge you to find a parent who doesn’t think it is the best job in the world!
Why does one choice have to be harder than the other? Why does one have to be better than the other? I personally live both lives, and I can tell you firsthand that sometimes being a stay-at-home mom is the hardest job in the entire world and sometimes being at work presents more challenges.
All moms truly are working moms!
Like with every journey, you may have great frustrations but with wonderful rewards! Everyone has their own journey filled with their own set of unique obstacles.
We shouldn’t argue about who works harder, but rather come together and support one another.
The reality is that we all have the same end goal: to create a new generation of children where cyber bullying and hate crimes are a thing of the past and tolerance for others is the the new normal. The only way to accomplish this goal is to lead by example and be more tolerant of each other. It is so easy today to hide behind a computer, declare yourself an expert, pass judgment on others, and promote hate.
Let’s break the trend! Positive energy leads to positive things.