preventing temper tantrums in threenagers and beyond

Calming a Threenager – The Magic of the Token System!

We have all been there, guys! Your child turns 3, and they immediately become a threenager! Temper tantrums. The cries. The whines. It all comes flooding in once they realize they have a voice. A LOUD, voice for that matter. Lately, I have been struggling A LOT with getting my son Jax to take direction without a fight. So today we want to discuss a parenting technique that’s great for preventing temper tantrums and helping you keep your sanity through this threenager stage of life!

Preventing Temper Tantrums with the Token System

I have always looked up to my sister Katie for how she parents. She is always super patient with her kids. And get this…they LISTEN to her.

Crazy concept, right?

Nope…she has just always known the right way to discipline her children when they aren’t behaving well.

The Token System

Years ago, my sister created a really great way to not only get her kids to behave the right way, but to get them to do their chores with less whining and push back. She also decreased the amount of screen time they were getting!

Sounds like a win-win, right?

I now introduce you to… “The TOKEN system” – The best system ever created, in my opinion.

How It Works (Katie’s Tips)

1. At the beginning of the school week, every Monday morning, give your kids 10 tokens for the week.

{1 token equals 30 minutes of screen time OR $.50 cents}

2. Take a large clear bin or bowl and fill it with tokens!

My tip…get the kids involved. If you go to an arts and crafts store and get plain wooden tokens, the kids can paint them, color them, cover them with stickers! It will make it more fun for them to pick their tokens each week.

3. Throughout the week, your kids can exchange their tokens for specifically allotted screen time, OR they can choose to save their tokens.

4. When the week is over that Sunday evening, even if they don’t have any tokens left, take inventory. The kids can either exchange their remaining tokens for the monetary value, or they can keep saving for the next week. My kids love building up their stash for a bigger cash out!

Bonus: They also can GAIN more tokens if they do something AMAZING like helping out mom or dad with chores.

There are so many possibilities!

HUGE KEY TIP HERE: Whatever your biggest issue, make that the focus to gain extra tokens!

For me, it would be the morning time and getting ready for school. If Jax can go the whole morning without crying and throwing a tantrum, he will get a token for behaving the right way!

Remember: You can also get tokens taken away! Reserve it for BAD situations like fighting, bad words, hitting, or not doing homework.

The Lessons Learned

This whole process shows kids how to earn something, how to pay for something they want, and also helps to decrease screen time, which can be extremely harmful if they are addicted!

Is a token really worth watching a 30-minute show? They will decide if it’s worth it to them. If they don’t want to use their tokens, they can find something to do that doesn’t involve an iPad or phone, which is a huge bonus, guys!

Final Thoughts on Preventing Temper Tantrums with the Token System

When we talked about this token system a year ago, we received so much great feedback. We are excited to share the process again. It really works, and your kids will love it!

xo, Carrie and Katie

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